Back when I started this blog I decided I would use it not only to chronicle my current events and to try to get over my secrecy issues, but also to record pieces of my past.  Even though I know I am (as far as adults are concerned) still very much of a kid, I know a bit more than I did ten, fifteen years ago. There are things I understand now, and others I am close to understanding.

More importantly, there are things I don’t want to forget. There are things that aren’t written anywhere, memories, funny anecdotes and not-so-funny-things-I’ve-done-that-I-shouldn’t-have-done-but-I-did.

Most importantly, however, is the big mystery in my past: my relationship with my father. I still struggle to understand it. We never, ever got along. We still don’t. We argued so much, about everything, to this day we can hardly converse more than casually without bringing out the worst in each other. It’s a ridiculous relationship, because there is so much love there. I love my dad, and he loves me. That has never been a question.
So how can two people who have always cared for each other as much as we do never, ever get along?
I’ve thought about this long and hard, but I’ve never discussed it with him because it would of course end up in a fight. Or five.

So, I have started writing about some of these things. These are incredibly personal. So much so, that I think I might have to break my rules and password-protect some things, just in case.  But writing helps me understand things, even if it’s not interesting to you. (Yes, there some people there, even though they *never* comment.)

This will help with transparency. And already I am thinking of things to write that are both personal and inconsequential, so I don’t have to write the stuff I’m not proud of.

Pansy.

Some of the categories I presented in Part 1 need some adjustments, so here goes…

Furniture

We didn’t spend much on furniture. We only bought a crib because we had no room for anything else. We bought a really nice crib, but we saved money by buying it online. The same crib at the Baby Store was going for $600.
I know people say you don’t need a changing table because you can change the baby anywhere, but that’s gross. I’ve always changed my baby in the exact same place, on the changing mat. I didn’t buy a fancy one, just one of the travel ones you can wipe off , which is much more realistic than a minky covered one you have to launder.

Bedding

I spent $16 on a pad and sheet for a (second hand) bassinet she never used. I thought we’d keep her in there in our room for a while, but she wouldn’t have it. She slept in her crib from day 1, until I brought her to bed with me at two months. I do have a bedding set for the crib, but it was given to me at my shower. I wouldn’t have purchased one, but it was nice to have the padded bumper for the crib since she moves around a lot and would’ve knocked herself out several times without it.

Clothes

Styx has a lot of clothes. I’m surprised that we are under the average because most people comment on the vastness of her wardrobe. We got a lot of hand-me-downs from friends and we bought a lot of stuff at Kid to Kid (a secondhand store). I also got a lot of really cute clothes at her baby shower.
I got lucky with maternity clothes. I didn’t even have a belly until month 7, so I was wearing my regular clothes most of the time. I spent most of the money on bras because that’s one thing I never, ever skimp on. The last two months I bought a few shirts and one pair of maternity pants as well as a belly band so I continued to wear all the rest of my pants. All the shirts/bras I bought while I was pregnant were also appropriate for nursing… not that it mattered… but how was I to know?

Diapers

For the first five/six months we used disposable diapers. We tried every brand under the sun, and she was in newborn diapers for two months (they only come in tiny packages), so we spent more money than parents of non-tiny babies who commit to a brand. Since we bought the cloth diapers we’ve only spent $20 on backup disposables for babysitters, etc.

Gear

I didn’t buy a high chair. My in-laws had one they bought for grandchildren when they come to visit and we appropriated it. With permission, of course. We might have to get another one since there really are other grandchildren who visit and occasionally the high chair is needed, so two or three people have to eat with babies on their laps. If I were doing this again I would get one with wheels that reclines a bit.
I loved having a Bumbo seat. Styx was very curious and wanted to see everything going on around her well before she was able to sit up. I gave mine away, but I would get another one if I had another baby. I also loved the Boppy pillow.

Stroller, car seat, etc

I made the mistake of buying an infant seat. It was black and red and Styx hated it. The fabric was plasticky and she got very sweaty in it. We exchanged it for a Graco infant seat, which she outgrew really fast height-wise, although she could still be in it weight-wise. We’d spent so much money on car seats already that we decided to buy a cheaper Cosco convertible seat. BAD IDEA! It’s impossible to keep safely installed in the car rear-facing. I had to reinstall it every time. We finally purchased this Maxi Cosi convertible car seat (in Chili pepper) for $200 and I really think we should’ve done this from the beginning. I love this seat. The Cosco convertible is a good seat for forward-facing.

For a stroller we bought a Combi City Savvy LX which leans all the way back for a newborn and weighs 13 lbs. In pink, of course. We’ve loved this stroller and never plan to get anything else. We also spent $25 on a used double stroller bought in conjunction with Jenny, since we got lots of places together and our babies like to hold hands. I wouldn’t change anything about my stroller at all.

Medical

Our health insurance has a $5,000 maternity deductible. So.. that’s most of it right there. Then we had to pay for her care in the hospital, and three consults with the World’s Crappiest Lactation Consultant. That also includes well-baby appointment copays and vaccinations and medicine like baby Tylenol and Motrin, which I would never risk being without. We still have the same insurance so I would have to do this all over again.

Mmmm… maybe a part 3, since I’m tired of writing? Sure.

I’ve stuck to it for a whole year. Until the day she turned 1, I labeled all the baby expenses as such, and even came up with subcategories to keep track. Here is the data:

Baby Total- $9586.65

Subcategories-

Clothes- $527.12

Formula- $438.97

Gear- $1686.09

Medical- $6219.51

Other- $714.96

These numbers are 100% real. There are no estimates. If I bought something for the baby at the same time as other things, I separated the baby amount (and calculated the tax) and labeled it appropriately. I really, really wanted to know.

Now I’ll compare it to this article, which is the one I chose back in ‘07.

Phew! That took a while.

I’ve only taken the first part because the second part of Yahoo’s list doesn’t apply to us. I wasn’t working so there was no maternity leave (although me not working while pregnant cost us about $40,000 –>Blergh), daycare, and we still haven’t done a professional will. We have a cheap one, though. We had life/term insurance before getting pregnant so it’s not a baby related expense to us, although it would be to a lot of people.

Some of these categories require adjustments. I didn’t buy some of the things the article mentions and I think it grossly underestimates the “miscellaneous” category. There are certain things you have to have on hand even if you don’t use them regularly because the one time you need them there is no time to run out and get it.
Like when your 3 day old baby has a cold and can’t breathe in the middle of the night. If you don’t have a sucky thing, you’re screwed. Fortunately, I’ve been around babies before.

Part 2 will include my personal opinion on what’s necessary and what I would do differently.

Also Friday- Registration opens. I think I have decided which classes to take, I just hope they’re available.

Next Tuesday- I get to run the numbers and determine the amount of Estimated Quarterly Tax Payment number 1. (Thank you, honey, for starting a consulting business in addition to your regular job and making taxes 10 times more difficult for me –>no, really. Thank you.)

Sometime in May- Probably a haircut.

Late June- Lastname Family Reunion. (eeeeekkk! I’m a little scared, since the last one was pretty much a disaster!).

As you can see, my schedule is just packed.

I enjoy doing my taxes. By far the hardest class I ever took was my Individual Income Tax class last summer but it was also one of the top three most interesting classes I’ve ever taken. Does this make me a nerd? Don’t answer that.

I think it’s because the tax code is so incredibly muddled and confusing that it’s like a giant puzzle. I think I like giant, muddled puzzles that make little sense even to the people who created them. I had a boss a couple of years ago who professed to love taxes and we called him a nerd. If you’re out there Mr. Former Boss Dean, I know how you felt! We can be friends now!

In other purely financial matters I am 90% ready to start the LLC. I have all the forms to file I just have to finish the Articles of Organization. And we have to keep thinking about the company name we’ve chosen until the day we file them to make sure there is nothing terribly wrong with it.

And I’m still doing the no-spend thing. It’s harder than I thought it would be since the Banana Republic gods are conspiring against me by sending me an email announcing a sale and a $10 off rewards card in the mail.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can….

Saving money is pretty self-explanatory. We usually do a pretty good job of saving, but we can do better. However, just saying “save more money” isn’t much of a goal, so I’ve specifically decided not to buy anything for myself for a month.

I mean, I will buy food (but not lunch out). And toiletries (but not expensive ones). Just not clothes, or shoes, or overall crap I don’t need. It shouldn’t be difficult, I don’t think I really make too many dumb purchases but if I do, I will probably notice it this month. I hope this doesn’t reveal some crazy habits, but if it does it will be good for me to find out.

I would include everyone else in my family in this, too, but I mainly just wanna know how much stuff I buy for myself. Besides, Styx needs a new dress. And I would love to find some cute hair clips since she might have enough hair for pigtails now- yay!

I also need to relax. Not in the sense that I need to take a nap and quit working so hard, but in the planning and over planning sense. I really need to relax and focus on the current step and maybe the next thing instead of trying to plot out my entire life. I am a compulsive planner, and I never get discouraged. If plans don’t work out it doesn’t matter, I make another one. It’s hard for me to do anything that lasts longer than a day or two without a specific plan.

My specific goal for relaxing will be to stop talking about graduate school! Sheesh. I can’t even believe it myself. I think my stress level will go down if I can manage to stop talking about it, and eventually that will help me stop thinking about it. Hopefully. Not that graduate school is a bad thing to think about, it’s just not the right time.

So, relax and save money. We’ll see how it goes.

I’ve had time to keep up on other’s blogs, and my email, but that’s about it.

I tried posting a video yesterday and it didn’t work within five minutes so I gave up. I don’t have time.

My eating habits have changed and I want to expand on that but I know I’ll forget if I don’t note it so I’m making a notation here.

Like, how to make things. Mostly about food, the making of which I enjoy immensely. I have pictures of my baby-food making process, I have pictures of my ladybug cake, I have pictures of several vegetarian dishes and their respective recipes and most recently posts of all the tomatoes I got from the garden and a post about what I plan to make with them and how.

I also have pictures of my recent tiny vacation, which I loved and which produced lots of nice shots I could actually share. The words are written, and I even have the spots for the pictures. They’re in brackets, like this:

[picture of 500 tomatoes on the table here]

or

[Styx pinching her nose]

so I will know exactly where to put each picture.

I just haven’t done it yet. Too much work, I guess, since I have to upload them to Picasa first, and then embed them in the blog, which means I have to mess with the code so it won’t link back to the Picasa album. Because, you know, I’m obsessed with privacy.

Why have I been cursed with such laziness?

What you have to look forward to: a post about baby food making! Yum yum.

A few days ago I wrote this. It hasn’t been too long, just a couple of days, really. Well, yesterday I got one of the items on the list. I did not have to pay for it, even.
I got a king size bed. I can’t believe how big and squishy (in a good way) it is, and I’m pretty excited to have it.

I thought it was just something I was going to keep wanting until I had a really huge wad of cash I didn’t know what to do with, but no! Less than a week after I identify it as one of my wants, it shows up. It makes me wonder what is going to happen to me if I ever have to go through some kind of hardship.