IUD is staying in until late March.
It turns out, the benefits of keeping it still outweigh the risks. I am NOT in a position* to get knocked up and nothing else gives me as good a chance as the IUD. Pills have higher levels of hormones that my body can’t handle and anything else just wouldn’t get used. Abstinence is not an option.
The reason I’d decided to take it out: I had my suspicions that the infinitesimal amounts of synthetic progestogens released have begun to make me crazy. Seriously, crazy. Like, I have never in my life been so crazy during ovulation, or experienced a 7-10 lb swing with every cycle.. unbelievable. And it’s recent, I have certainly not be walking around for two years with these side effects.
So, yeah.. more on that (and some peer-reviewed articles I found on the subject) later. Whenever I get around to it, if ever.
* WordPress suggested that I replace the word “position” with a simpler word. Because “position” is hard. If you don’t know what a position is, please don’t come back.
I took a break from homework to get DayQuil and cough drops at Rite Aid. I also picked up a bit of dark chocolate (because milk chocolate is despicable) and had the following scene at the checkout:
Checker Lady- (scanning DayQuil) “Sweetie, what’s your birth date”
Me- (Hesitation. Tired brain chugging away. What is my birth date? Oh yeah) “Month. Day. Year”
Checker Lady- (eyeing me suspiciously) “Sweetie, you don’t look a day over twenty”.
Me- (pulling out my license). “Well. The Gods of beauty must be smiling upon me on this, my hour of greatest need”.
Checker Lady- “Never mind. Nobody under thirty talks like that.”
—
I’m right in the middle. And I’ve been talking like that since I was 15.
… The IUD is coming out.
Next week.
We’re not 100% into procreation mode yet but we’re getting there.
Maybe this summer?
The last month has brought a sharp increase in my busy-ness and a sharp decline in David’s to the point where the primary parenting duties have been turned over to him and I’m not home very often. Some days I am only home for a few hours while Styx is napping and the leave again after seeing her only for an hour. Other days I am only gone for a few hours, but I always have studying or writing or projects or labs to do.
I like it. I like that I am still heavily involved in my daughter’s life and I still make decisions and I still love her as much as is humanly possible. But I don’t have to do the day-to-day all day long babysitting, which is where the tension comes from. I am so busy that when I’m with my kid I want to be with her. I want to play, I want to read books, I want to color and I want to listen to her endless squeaky chatter. I honestly want to. I’m not looking forward to bedtime, I’m not interested in getting a babysitter because a break for me means having time with her.
I love it. I am too lazy to be a stay at home mother, and that was never my plan anyway. David says that he is not in love with the stay at home parent thing, but I think he does much better than me and he is able to manage his time differently. Our long-term plan never included either of us as a stay at home parent, but rather some wonky combination of part-time work, self-employment and an additional caregiver. We haven’t figured it out yet.
I don’t think we have to. It’s going OK. I imagine we’ll figure it out as we go along. When David starts working full-time again we’ll figure it out again. I can’t believe it, but I think I’m letting this one go. I’m slowly learning to stop over planning things that can’t be planned.
Since this is my blog, about my life and what’s going on in my head I thought I’d explain that the absence of posts for the last… forever… has been due to the fact that there is absolutely nothing in my head.
Nothing at all.
Not tumbleweeds, or crickets, or anything that could be mistaken for a humorous substitute for original thought. It would require too much effort and I just haven’t been willing. My entire school break was spent doing nothing at all. I spent time with my kid, but mostly I spent it staying up till 4am and watching Gilmore Girls episodes. I didn’t really watch that show a lot when it was on, but now I gotta say, Lorelai – string of boyfriends = makes me miss my mom.
I think I’ve been bummed. Depressed, but not in the clinical sense, just in the sense that sometimes people get in that mood.. that depressy mood. Anyway, the whole time that I was (am?) in that funk I knew I was in it, but I didn’t get out. I was equal parts unwilling and unable. Mostly unwilling. I felt like I should take some time to do nothing, because I totally and completely killed myself last semester and got amazing grades. I even skipped the gym for almost three straight weeks so I could study while Styx was asleep, and it was my last month of gym membership. I will miss the gym.
I know lack of gym time also contributed to my December blues.
Now, tomorrow, I am starting my new semester. I’m out of the funk as soon as I have something to do. This is why I would be a horrible stay at home mother. This is why I was a horrible stay at home mother for those 4.5 months. Urgh. Now I have to go to bed because I have a completely non-optional class at 8am and it’s taught by a guy who can’t even keep himself awake. I’m guessing some more killing myself is ahead of me…
Stuff like this does not exist in my family, at least not to my knowledge. This is the ONLY problem with being born to minimalist, globe-trotting, anti-pack rat parents. Nothing survives long enough to be handed down to your grandchildren, or even to your youngest sibling, really.
David’s family is the polar opposite. They still have their first blender (even though it doesn’t work), and one of the chairs that my father in law’s parents bought for 39 cents when they were first married about a century ago… and a whole bunch of other stuff that didn’t need to be saved. (Hmmm… we actually use that chair, so nevermind…)
However, once in a while, I come across something they’ve saved and I love it. I love that they saved it and I love that I get to be a part of its history. In this case, they’ve saved a little play kitchen. It’s a two piece set, with a cupboard and a stove/oven with a little door underneath. The stove actually has little red lights under each burner that you can turn on with the knobs in front. How cool is that?! Both are handmade, the cupboard piece by David’s grandfather for his daughter and the stove part was made by David’s father for his sister. And now Styx gets it!
I’m really excited about it. It needs some love and sanding and repainting before it’s ready to be used by a small child again, but we’re working on it. I want to keep the original look even though it’s not my favorite. It’s all white with red hardware, which we’re replacing because it’s a little chipped and broken, and it’s very plain. I still want to keep the same look to it, but we might add something else. I love that we get something with a story. I love that my kid will be playing with an already well-loved toy and we would like to add another piece to it, because this one I will save.
Then a bonus surprise: I opened the cupboard and it was full. of. tiny. little. vintage. kitchen. stuff. (I had to type that slow because I still can’t believe it). Cups made of tin, things painted with little tiny dots, pots and pans, even tiny serving dishes. According to my father in law, they are the ones his sister played with which makes them over 50 years old. Jackpot! Triple jackpot!! Gazillion-quadrillion jackpot. A lot of the stuff is missing but it’s all still amazing.
I’m excited.
Styx hasn’t seen it yet or we wouldn’t have been able to pry her away from it, kitchens are her current favorite thing in the world and I know she will love it.
Well, little Cookie surprised us all, most of all her parents who were 100% she was a boy and had a very nice name picked out for him. It’s actually a name that I considered for Styx if she had been a boy, but I would have no problem with them using it.
Cookie is a GIRL! Now she has no name, they haven’t even entertained the thought that she might be a girl. Haha!! Same thing happened with Nephew except for the other way around, of course. Anyway, I’m getting a little niece sometime in late April-early May.
I have to say I am so excited that I will get a little tiny baby girl sooner than I expected!!
I told a few people I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year and they asked me if I was worried/nervous/afraid. I said no/no/no. Food is food, I don’t get the “pressure” of cooking for Thanksgiving. Maybe it’s for people who don’t usually cook?
Anyway, David, Styx and I went to his brother’s brand-new house in Midway for Thanksgiving. We stayed there two days, because it’s fun to have sleepovers with my sister in law and above all, it’s super fun when Styx doesn’t sleep for 48 hrs.
I was in charge of dinner, despite the fact that I have never cooked a turkey in my life and I have attended a total of five Thanksgivings, one for each year of marriage plus the one when I was engaged. I am not American (because I haven’t beat that to death on this blog) so I have no attachment to Thanksgiving whatsoever. You get time off work, so it’s nice.
Anyway, I made dinner and it was pretty fantastic, if I may say so myself. I did make a turkey and I did taste some of it because what kind of a cook doesn’t taste her own food? It was delicious as turkeys go, but it was still turkey so a taste was all I had, especially after having to “handle” its dead body while preparing it.
I made stuffing, which was awesome. I made three pies, apple, triple berry and pumpkin. I made the crust from scratch, too. I made a green bean dish with a sauce that was much too heavy and I would never make outside of holiday indulgent menus. I outsourced the mashed potatoes to my sister in law, and we made a cranberry dessert together. It was pretty darn good.
My brother in law was coerced into buying a twenty-two pound turkey for five adults and three kids. (Pretty sure the meat guy at the market works on commission). We ate less than 1/5 of it, and the rest is in plastic baggies in their freezer.
The day after, Sis in Law and I went shopping and we bought very little but we bonded a lot. I love her. David and Styx came home and slept most of the weekend, to make up for staying up late and eating a lot more than they should. Me? I find that when you’re cooking all day your appetite is whetted by the smell of the food. I really liked cooking, it’s been a long time since I’ve had the time to put together a feast!
David told everyone at the table that next year we will have bought a house and they will all be invited for Thanksgiving. I’m not so concerned about having four people over for dinner as much as I am for the whole buying a house thing. Oh well, I’m actually really looking forward to moving, getting a dining room and inviting people over.
I would rate Thanksgiving as a success. Going back to school was rough this week.
Today I had a project folder to turn in, but I didn’t make it to class. Let’s clarify that I didn’t make it to class because I was working on the folder at the last minute. I thought it was ready, but in the morning as I was leaving I realized that I’d forgotten one key component and I had to stay home and do it.
I knew my professor taught another class right after mine so I planned to just go at the end of class. David announced he had to go help with a set up at the church (there is always something for him to set up or take down) and it became evident that I would have to take Styx with me to school to turn in the project.
David and I call this particular teacher the baby hater because even though the school has a well publicized “children welcome in classrooms and testing center and library and everywhere” policy, he tells everyone he does not like children in his classroom. Guess what. The baby hater loooooves babies. He was so taken by her, I didn’t think he heard a word I said. He took my folder, he smiled stupidly at the baby and then she handed him the stuffed pig she was carrying. Man, she played her part well. She laughed, she said bye bye, and the she said please when she wanted the pig back.
As I was leaving he called out “I hope you all feel better soon”… even though I never said we’d been sick, and we’re not. He really did not hear a word I was saying…
The question is, do I use this newfound power to fight crime or for evil?
My tiny little baby is out of her crib. It’s so sad, and most inconvenient, really. But she is Harry Houdini reincarnate, so it’s really surprising she made it this far. She was weaseling out of the stroller straps at eight months, laughing in the faces of the Safety 1st baby proofing stuff by 11 months and opening all manner of containers and trunks, even those with latches, at 14 months. She can now successfully climb out of her crib and fall to her death. By some heavenly intervention she still can’t mess with the straps on the car seat, although it’s not for lack of trying.
We decided that it was time to take off the side of the crib so she can… well, not fall to her death every day. This also necessitated a change of bedrooms, which is unfortunate for me. Her new room is the only room in the house that’s finished, and therefore safest for her, and the room that was my room when I woke up this morning. So sad. I just lost my new bedroom to a baby.
The change is temporary, as soon as the next bedroom is ready she will be moving in there, this time permanently. She’s had a hard time staying in bed, which we anticipated, so tonight she didn’t go to sleep until about 11pm. She should be a zombie tomorrow.
We decided to put a gate in the doorway, because I am not willing to have her sleeping in a room by herself with the door closed but I also don’t think it’s a good idea for her to take a midnight stroll through the house. We’ll see how the first night goes.
Also, the crib people (per the instructions) say that babies are unable to get out of it until they are 35 inches tall and she is 33 inches. I want some justice here.
